Exploits and Misunderstandings

fuck

2004-11-14T11:06:00.000-08:00

we tried. we tried to find a candidate that could reach out to moderate republicans while staying true to our modern values. My republican dad said it best, "the democratic party is too liberal for middle america". well you know what your right. So, WHY do we give a fuck about some dumbass in rural Nevada, who doesn't even like us or want our help? jesus, we're like the cheerleader aching for every last person in the stand to yell with her, "Push em back Push em Back WAAYY Back"

after the dust settled we finally found our message. it's late, but thank god we found it. Please read this entire article. it's long, but what we have to say can't fit onto a bumper sticker.

THE URBAN ARCHIPELAGO
It's time to state something that we've felt for a long time but have been too polite to say out loud: Liberals, progressives, and Democrats do not live in a country that stretches from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from Canada to Mexico. We live on a chain of islands. We are citizens of the Urban Archipelago, the United Cities of America. We live on islands of sanity, liberalism, and compassion--New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, St. Louis, Minneapolis, San Francisco, and on and on. And we live on islands in red states too--a fact obscured by that state-by-state map. Denver and Boulder are our islands in Colorado; Austin is our island in Texas; Las Vegas is our island in Nevada; Miami and Fort Lauderdale are our islands in Florida. Citizens of the Urban Archipelago reject heartland "values" like xenophobia, sexism, racism, and homophobia, as well as the more intolerant strains of Christianity that have taken root in this country. And we are the real Americans. They--rural, red-state voters, the denizens of the exurbs--are not real Americans. They are rubes, fools, and hate-mongers.

read more here: (read it!!) http://www.portlandmercury.com/current/feature.html

Republicans want Bush out too!

2004-09-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

It's 15 minutes until quitting time and pitch black outside. i have $200 in a very rich neighborhood, so i should have more than $200 at this point. Where is the rich democrat?? There is always one in every republican neighborhood. I'll try one more mansion.

Nikki: (whispering) oh i see you're on the phone, i'll...
Jaime: (motioning with his hands to "stay put")
Nikki: (well at least he didn't wave me away)
Jaime: So, what can i do for you Kerry fan? (looking at the Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker on my clipboard)
Nikki: (yes! i knew there was one out there!) Well, i'm Nikki with the DNC and we're working very hard to put Kerry in the white house.
Jaime: Come in come in. Have a seat, i'll be right back.

He goes off into the kitchen where his wife asks him, "Who is here?" "The Democrats for John Kerry", he laughs. "I can't believe it!" she exclaims. "i know I know. I've gone nuts", he says laughing as he comes into the room carrying a bowl of fruit. This isn't going to be good. I'm thinking now, this is going to go poorly and i'm out of time tonight. This will be my last house. Great. Some republican asked me in to poke fun of me and entertain himself? I don't think so! We sit down.

Jaime: Well, i have to tell you. I'm a republican who is fed up with Bush. So it looks like John Kerry is my man. And i'll sit here and talk with you but i'm not giving you money.
Nikki: (yes you are!! BIG grin running through my veins right now) Oh, well that's too bad because that exactly why i'm here. But let me tell you why.

We talk for a few minutes about the swing states and how important they are to the campaign and how Bush can't get his act together and that he keeps saying really stupid things and how James Carville just sent out an email asking to support the DNC and that he was considering giving a contribution but would only do it by mail.

Nikki:But grassroots work is the most effective campaign tool right now. Some people just need a knock on the door and a registration form stuck in front of them to get involved. We also talk to people who are not on an email list or mailing list because they haven't voted for a long time, if ever. your contribution not only helps register voters in the swing states, but shows support for our work on the ground. i know it's not a fancy party and clinton won't come by to thank you for it, but I will. And the thousands of us walking 5 hours a day to find other contributors thank you for it.
Jaime: jesus. (he's squirming in his chair) I can't believe i'm going to give money to the Democratic Party.
Nikki: Hey, you are changing your vote. You might as well just dive on in there! Let's work together to get Bush out of office.
Jaime:How much do you need?
Nikki: Well the DNC can take up to $25,000. Since this is your first contribution, feel free to go up as high as you want to that limit. (serious smile)
Jaime: HA! how much do you really need.
Nikki:Honestly, about $5,000. (don't laugh. stay focused.)
Jaime:Here's $500. Do you have the registration form too?
Nikki: (yay! $500 from a Republican) I can't fundraise and register at the same time, but you can register online at www.yourvotematters.org
Jaime You are good you know?
Nikki: I want to be proud of this country again. So, it's not about being a good fundraiser. It's more about speaking from the heart. But you! I know it takes guts to change your mind in politics. Thank you.

beer vs. votes..hmm, can I think about it?

2004-09-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

Two very large, mid-20s guys answer the door together.

Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the DNC for John Kerry. You guys voting for John in November?
First Dude: Yeah, Kerry has my vote.
Second Dude: Me too. And i'm already registered.
Nikki:Great. Most Californians are registered AND voting for Kerry. But, we have a lot of work to do in the swing states.
First Dude: (haughy tone) California isn't a swing state.
Nikki: (really, it isn't? Are you sure? shit. I've been working for the wrong state this whole time? don't say it nikki just smile.) (smirk) You are right, California is not a swing state. That's why we're not focusing a lot of our voter registration energy here. It's also why you don't see any of the political ads on television. California is going democratic. So instead of spending money out here we're sending most of our resources out to Pennsylvania, Iowa and Ohio.
Second Dude: Ohio is a swing state.
Nikki: (hard swallow) Right! So, I'm here tonight...
First Dude: Florida is swing state right?
Nikki: yes. (pause) There are hundreds of people from across america going into these key swing states to help local offices register as many people as possible before their deadline. and in some states the deadline is in three weeks.
Second Dude:That's it right?
Nikki: I'm sorry?
Second Dude: Swing states. Those are all the swing states? Pennsylvania, Iowa, Ohio
First Dude: and Florida.
Nikki: (OH MY GOD) No, there are like 9. (oops just caught my right index finger massaging my right temple--calm down) But, those that i mention are key to our campaign. It's important that we support those folks out there. And that's why i'm here. We're asking for contributions tonight of $100.
First Dude:oh, well, i don't have any money to give.
Second Dude: yeah, me either. plus the A's are playing and i'd like to get back to it.
Nikki:Ah, baseball fans. Well you are probably drinking a six pack watching the game right?
Second Dude: yeah, more like two.
Nikki: (that explains the rediculous who's-on-first-in-the-swing-state episode we just had) okay, well how much did those cost? $8 each?
First Dude: yeah, something like that.
Nikki:Well, instead of buying beer, buy some votes. Help get people in swing states registered so that they vote in November. And we get rid of Bush.
Second Dude: beer vs. votes? Can I think about it?
Nikki:No! (laughing from the mere absurdity of it all) you can't think about it. You want bush out of office right? You don't want to be drafted because the military is too thin to fight all the terrorists Bush hopes to conquer in the next four years. Hmmm. beer or votes for kerry. (doing the scale thing with my hands) You know what you need to do.
Second Dude: Alright, 20 bucks each. I don't think i'll get drafted. But i like your spunk.
First Dude: dude, can you spot me $20?

who's the clown?

2004-09-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

I passed an old woman on the street today after work. She was having a little trouble getting out of her handicap parking space, so i offered to help with her door. I forgot I had my DNC badge on.

Old lady: why thank you.
Nikki: no problem. glad to help.
Old lady: (peering down at my right shoulder blade trying to read the badge attached to my shirt) oh! you work for the democrats?
Nikki: yes. I'm working hard to get Kerry in the white house come november. who are you voting for?
Old lady: (she stood straight up, tightened her lips, and almost screamed) I don't like Kerry at all!
Nikki: oh, okay. (backing away, i just got off of work--who wants this right now? not me!)
Old lady: I would never vote for a clown! (she yells on her way into the grocery store)
Nikki: Then why are you voting for Bush?
Old lady: (pushing the cart into the store she turns arounds and totally gives me the "evil eye")

It's really best just to walk away and laugh. poor old mean lady. she must not have access to all the meds she needs because her healthcare costs have increased 15% in the last year or something.

you old poop

2004-09-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Richard: look, we've given already. I'm 85 years old and on a budget. I think it's great that you are doing this but i'm not going to give you money tonight.
Nikki: oh, you know normally i wouldn't push it, but we are down to just 7 weeks until the election. Grassroots is the last leg of the race--we're the guys who have to talk to as many people as possible, get them registered and to the polls. At this point, it's really not about fancy dinners, or ads, or email. It's about knocking on doors and mobilizing voters. And this is hard work to do without support. Please sir, if you could give $50...
Female voice from the livingroom: For god's sakes Richard give her money!
Richard: (turns around from the door) what?
Female voice from the livingroom: She's a young woman going door to door for the Kerry Campaign, you old poop! Give her some money.
Nikki: (I guess it's handy that i look 25 instead of 34) It really is going to...
Richard:The woman has spoken. (he says in a deep voice and turns around to grab his wallet) I should write you a check.
Female voice from the livingroom: just give her cash from your wallet.
Richard: (whispers tighly through the corner of his mouth) But i just went to the ATM.
Female voice from the livingroom: Richard...
Richard:(he takes out a stack of 20s and hands it to me with a smile.) Here you go, (wink) thanks for fighting the good fight.
Nikki: Thank you.
Richard: oh no, you should thank my wife.

what?

2004-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

Jane: oh i'm not voting for him. (points to the Kerry bumper sticker on the back of my clipboard)
Nikki: oh?
Jane: he looks too much like mr. magoo.
Nikki: (what?) as opposed to a red horned devil?
Jane: ha! yeah actually. (door slam)

okay, yes it's rediculous that she's basing her whole decision on how kerry *looks*. But more importantly, Kerry looks *nothing* like Mr. Magoo. Mr. Magoo was like 4 feet tall, bald, and wore glasses, really big glasses! augh. I mean at least get it right. If anything Kerry looks like Jay Leno.

I love Mill Valley

2004-09-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

Mill Valley, California is my favorite city in the whole bay area. They are rich, tree hugging liberals with advanced degrees who are fiscally conservative yet understand the important costs of The Long Now. They live in redwood tree houses, read more than they watch tv, and sure they might have two cars, but at least one is a hybrid. Plus they are only 20 minutes from San Francisco--augh, the life.

I spoke to 21 people and received 11 contributions for a total of $503! What a night. Every other person i talked to gave me money for the cause. I was cheered by speeding cyclists, "You're doing great work!" I was offered a glass of wine from a women's book club discussing "Life of Pi". And a Mercedes full of grandmothers yelled out from their windows, "You go girl!" (that last part had me laughing for hours) I love Mill Valley.

well, get informed

2004-09-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

A young girl answers the door.

Nikki: Hi, i'm nikki with the democratic national commitee for John Kerry, are your parents around?
Beth: No, they are out for the night.
Nikki: I see. (hmm. she might be 18, i'll ask) So, are you voting in this election?
Beth: I just turned 18. But, i'm not sure if i'm going to vote.
Nikki: (frown) you have to vote.
Beth: i'm not informed enough to make a decision.
Nikki: well get informed girl! This is your first big decision that you get to make on your own.
Beth: I don't know.
Nikki: well, first of all you should go to Kerry's Web site and look up his voting record on the issues that are important to you and second consider two important things. First, there are two to three supreme court justice positions that should have been availabe in 2003, but they didn't want to give up their seats while Bush was in office.
Beth: why?
Nikki: Because the president appoints the judges. And no one believes bush is capable of appointing fair, moderate judges to the posts because he's very right wing. These judges determine the outcome to cases that involve the interpretation and application of the Constitution and federal law. (ew, i sound just like a 10th grade political science teacher--thank god i just looked this stuff up the other day on google!)
Beth: (shifting, starting to look bored)
Nikki: Look, i know this stuff is dry, but Supreme Court Justices have the power to influence every factor of your life - from the right to privacy, to the right to free speech, to abortion rights. AND the justices are around for 20 years, not just the next 4 years. Which leads me to my second point. (hang on kid, hang on kid!)
Beth: Roe v Wade?
Nikki: Yes! You are a young woman now. It's imortant stuff. Your body, your decision. If you think abortion is immoral, then don't have one. But, we must protect each other's rights to choose. Okay? So give it some thought and go out there and vote.
Beth: thanks. a lot. I really appreciate it.
Nikki: I'm happy to help. good night.

At the end of a long day and only making $110, i realized talking to this girl was my purpose for the evening. Two women standing on a porch in suburban Cupertino talking about the supreme court and women's rights--my life is softly teetering between surreal and sublime right now.

but i WANT to

2004-08-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Nikki: Hi, are your parents around? I'm with the Democratic National Committee for John Kerry.
Julia: yeah, but they are busy cooking dinner. what are you doing?
Nikki: well, i'm asking supporters of Kerry to give money to his campaign so we can get people in the swing states registered to vote and to the polls. Do you know what a swing state is? (she can't be more than 13 years old)
Julia: people in those states are not sure who they want for president.
Nikki: right.
Julia: well i want Kerry to win. Can I give you money?
Nikki: sure!
Julia: hold on, i have to run up stairs.
Nikki: (how cute!)

Parents upstairs: not now Julia! we're about to eat dinner. You don't even know this person.
Julia: but I WANT to (said rushing down the stairs in the I-want-to-go-to-the-mall-with-my-NEW-friends voice that only the 13 year old girls can do)

Nikki: Julia, you are doing something most kids your age don't even think about. Thank you for participating in this presidential election.
Julia: It seems important. Here's $5.
Nikki: (i know that's a lot of money to her--oh my gosh, she's amazing.) Well lets make this official.

I handed her the clipboard and she filled out the form slowly--working hard on her handwriting. Afterwards i gave her a receipt. I think this is one of those moments we'll both remember for a long time.

Done for the Year

2004-08-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

(Ahh, modest home in a rich neighborhood...buddah fountains...zen landscaping...this is going to be good. I can feel it.)

Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the Democratic National Committee and we're...
Sophia: oh! I'm a big supporter. I've given to the campaign several times now.
Nikki: (yay!) great! then you know how important the month of august is to the Kerry campaign. By delaying the republican convention, Bush will raise and use over 50 million dollars against kerry. So we're asking out best supporters to help the DNC step up to bridge that gap. Kerry can no longer rely on his own money; it's up to the DNC to shoulder him through the rest of the campaign and we could really use your support tonight.
Sophia: but i've given the max.
Nikki: well, unlike the Kerry for President max of $2000, the DNC can take up to $25,000. (remain calm, smile. I can ask for $25,000. people do it all the time. oh my gosh, i just said $25,000. don't laugh)
Sophia: no, you don't get it. I've given the DNC's max.
Nikki: (OH!!) wow, well. gosh, you are done for the year. Please, i would love to shake your hand.
Sophia: (she smiles and gives me a hug instead) Thank you for working so hard out there.
Nikki: hey, we're doing it together! it's people like you who are supporting our grassroots efforts and just so you know, our office in San Francisco raises about $10,000 - $15,000 a day.
Sophia: wow! that's amazing.
Nikki: We all want bush out of offiice. It's really going to happen this time. (okay, this lovefest is getting to be a bit much for me) I better go, while there's still light outside.
Sophia: good luck!
Nikki: Thanks!

A dark moment or two

2004-08-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Recently, we (the DNC) started going down to Pacifica-- a sleepy coastal town about 12 miles south of San Francisco. Never have I experienced the word "apathetic" so physically. I talked to more people than i would like to mention tonight whose uncaring, unconcerned, unemotional, unfeeling, uninterested, unmoved and unresponsive words felt like padded darts being hurled at high speed into my chest. These are the worst kind of nos because if people feel like this in Northern California then i can't imagine the swing states. So, i'm letting you in on a dark moment or two.

Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the Democratic National Committee and we're working very hard to put Kerry in office in November. (can't read this particular young affluent woman, so it's better to cut to the chase) Are you voting for Kerry?
27 year old mom: i'm not voting.
Nikki: (ah, perhaps a temporary citizen, better check) what do you mean you are *not* voting?
27 year old mom: I don't like politics.
Nikki: well, okay. But voting is more than just politics. It's one of america's most precious rights.
27 year old mom: (smirk)
Nikki: At least vote in this election, then never vote again. the world needs you to vote.
27 year old mom: (shrugs her shoulders) i'm not interested.
Nikki: (walking off) i don't even know what to say to that.
27 year old mom: don't worry about it.
Nikki: (don't worry about it? augh. don't worry about it?!)

Dark moment #2

2004-08-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

kelly: I don't want to.
Nikki: (don't *want* to? maybe $25 is too much) oh, are things a little tight now?
Kelly: no. Why don't *you* send in a contribution.
Nikki: (oh no she di'nt) I have contributed. But, I also walk 5 hours a day, 5 days a week for the democratic party in hopes of getting bush out of office. So, i contribute something every day.
Kelly: whatever (door slam)

see...hands free!

2004-08-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

Nikki: oh! he's very new. (stunned that this woman answered the door while breastfeeding her newborn.)
Jenny: yes, just a few weeks.
Nikki: wow. well i can come back.
Jenny: no really. this thing (tugging on a strap wrapped around her neck) is great. it holds my baby level while he feeds. See, he's lying on a foam platform that rests like a shelf against my abdomen.
Nikki: (yes, but i can see your breasts!!) Oh, hey that's cool. So..I'm with the Democratic National Committee.
Jenny: oh i'm glad you are here. I wanted to send in money...I can do that through you?
Nikki: yes!
Jenny: great i'll write you a check.
Nikki: (quit looking at her breasts! god, i feel like a guy.) oh! well i can come back if you want to wait until he's finished.
Jenny: oh, i can do it here. See...hands free! (streches out her arms to the side. blanket falls down to reveal EVERYTHING) Oops!
Nikki: oops! Well, that thing must be a godsend. (trying to focus on the harness)
Jenny: Yes and it's called "My Breast Friend"
Nikki: (hysterical laughter) No...that's too much!
Jenny: Isn't it great?

do you have my pizza?

2004-08-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Husband: oh, i thought you were the pizza man.
Nikki: (smiling) nooo, i'm nikki with the democratic national committee.
Husband: well i'm independent and certainly don't plan on helping out the democratic party. you sure you don't have my pizza?
Nikki: no, sir. I don't have your pizza. But i do have your freedom!
Husband: ha! (laughter wafts from the livingroom)
Wife: (now at the door) what is it that you need, money?
Nikki: yes. we need contributions for our highest priority, which is to mobilize voters in the swing states.
Husband: I'm not giving you anything. Are you? (he asks his wife)
Wife: well honey, it's important to unite at this point and i'll help any way i can to get bush out of office.
Nikki: (yeah, what she said!)
Wife: Here's $25.
Husband: well, guess this means i'm paying for the pizza.

this is a republican house

2004-08-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

85 yr old lady: i've been a republican since my arrival from Austria in 1953. I'm no immigrant either, i chose to move here and i gave up my citizenship so i could vote in America.
Nikki: oh. well, i'll be heading out then.
85 yr old lady: BUT (bony finger in the air) I'm not voting for Bush.
Nikki: oh? (yay, my favorite)
85 yr old lady: that's right. his foreign policies and economics disgust me. He's running this country into the ground and i'm embarrassed. And believe me, this is a republican house. let me show you something.

We walk through her mansion in Atherton, CA toward a front parlor. We approached a wall of framed photographs--all black and white.

85 yr old lady: this is me and my husband. and do you know who this is?
Nikki: no, i'm afraid i don't.
85 yr old lady: it's Herbert Hoover. And this is my husband presenting him a scroll with all of the contributors to the Herbert Hoover Library. We loved Herbert Hoover. We're republicans.
Nikki: i see that. wow, and you are changing your vote.
85 yr old lady: yes, but i'm not changing my party.
Nikki: fair enough!
85 yr old lady: and i'm only giving you $25. If my husband knew i was giving to the Democratic Party...well, he's certainly turning over in his grave right now.
Nikki: hahaha, well thank you.

a kindness please?

2004-08-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

Mary: well, don't waste your breath on me, i'm a republican through and through.
Nikki: i see. no problem, have a nice evening!
Nikki: oh, and do you think i could ask you for a kindness?
Mary: sure, what do you need hon?
Nikki: i could really use a refill of water. (hand her my empty water bottle)
Mary: okay. (returns smiling)
Nikki: thank you.
Mary: see, republicans can be kind people.
Nikki: (genuinely smiling and thankful for the cold water) I knew you had it in you. (wink) thanks again!
Mary: (calling after me) good luck. for you. not your candidate. (laughter)

they just can't let it be. not even the "kind" ones.

bottom of the barrel

2004-07-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the Democratic National Committee and we're...

Martin: let me stop you right there. i don't like kerry at all.

Nikki: hey, fair enough. good luck!

Martin: Kerry is going to ruin everything we've worked hard for in Iraq.

Nikki: okay, i understand...(been here before, best just to leave gracefully smiling smiling smiling)

Martin: and besides, he has close ties to the Kennedys and the Kennedys are the bottom of the barrel to me.

Nikki: (hard swallow) well. okay. (backing down the stairs smiling smiling smiling not mentioning what's really running through my head: close ties kennedys, close ties Saudi government; bottom of the barrel kennedys, close ties AND bottom of the barrel bin laden family, right.)

Nikki: you're right, those kennedys have been a real menace to society.

Martin: (squints and closes the door swiftly.)

house of felons

2004-07-29T00:28:00.000-07:00

nikki: so you are not interested?
ed: no.
nikki: oh, so you are voting for bush then?
ed: no. I'm not interested.
nikki: (very curious because he's young and notably vague)hmm, so you are voting for...
ed: look i can't vote okay.
nikki: ooohhh, you "can't" vote. right. well, is there anyone else, perhaps a flatmate, that can vote?
ed: no. we're a house of felons here.
nikki: (Forest yells in my head: "run nikki run") i see. well have a nice evening!

Now, i know i can receive contributions from felons. and normally, i would. it's a great way for felons to feel like they are participating in the election process even though their hands are tied (sorry, bad pun). But at this point, I wasn't interested. I mean really...a house full of felons??

NRA lovin' Democrats?

2004-07-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

Navato California, about 35 minutes north of the city, is a blue collar town full of sheet metal workers, limosine drivers, nurses, bus drivers. It's a clean, average town without the weird "Stepford" perfection of upper middle class suburbia. The lawns aren't perfect, the blinds need to be dusted and the ceramic, flower decoupaged ducks on the porch need a good cleaning, but everyone one works hard and wants Bush out of office just as much as the folks in Mill Valley. So when i saw the NRA sticker on the back of a Ford F150 truck i thought to my self, okay i think i can skip this house. But, I recently had a conversation with a Democrat from Texas who loves guns, supports the NRA and is voting for Kerry. And hell, if there are gay republicans in San Francisco surely there are NRA lovin' democrats in Navato.

I knock on the door and a huge burly man with a full gray beard and enormous beer belly answers the door. (first hint that this was not going to go well)

Nikki: Hi, I'm Nikki with the DNC and we're working hard to defeat Bush in November.
Bubba: (silence; eye lids tighten around the edges)
Nikki: (smiling realizing the sticky situation i'm about to get into and cut to the chase) Are you with us on this campaign?
Bubba: (not smiling and still silent, he very slowly moves his head left to right)
Nikki: (nervous laugh) right. you know, i saw the NRA sticker on your car and thought, (another dumb nervous laugh) well, thought you might want Bush out...of...
Bubba: (more silence; crosses his arms and rests them on the top of his belly and again moves his head left to right)
Nikki: Okay, so you're a republican.
Bubba: (moves his head up and down very slowly)
Nikki: okay, well fair enough and (door slams) good luck!

Afterthought: truck, NRA sticker, ceramic decoupaged ducks on the porch = republican, without a doubt. And besides, what kind of self respecting homosexual would vote for bush.

Not since JFK

2004-07-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

Nikki: "...so, i'd love to get you involved with our work in the swing states"

Hank: What? Vote for Kerry? I can't stand him. But, Bush has really put me in a tight spot. He has made a mockery of the Republican party."

Nikki: "Gosh, i'm amazed to hear you say that. Are you saying you are going to vote against Bush in the election?"

Hank: "hey, i'm not an idiot. I don't like how he's treating the men and women who put their lives on the line in Iraq. I think he lied to them and it breaks my heart that so many have died this way. I vote for the best man. It just so happens i haven't voted for a Democrat since JFK.

Nikki: wow, i'm impressed that you changed your mind after all this time. It seems, as people get older, they tend to stick to their party and don't budge on opionion.

Hank: Don't get me wrong, i like being a republican. you get to associate yourself with the rich people you know? It's gives me a sense of class. (standing tall, adjusting an imaginary tie) I don't want to be associated with the *poor*! And besides, the food is better at Republican fundraisers. Here's $20, but i'm not signing anything."

"What do you do?"

2004-07-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on the sidewalk in a Sunnyvale suburban cul-de-sac and this 10-year old kid finally says something to me after riding up and down the same street, checking me out. I mean, i can understand it. A strange *lady* walking around with a clipboard knocking on everyone's door...it's a little weird. Hell it's weird doing it! But, finally he gets the courage to ask, "What do you do?"

Nikki: I'm going door-to-door asking your neighbors if they want to help the Democratic Party defeat Bush in November.

Nick: Oh.

Nikki: You know about elections right? President Bush is up for re-election. And I would rather have John Kerry as our next president. What about you?

Nick: Oh, well. i'm not sure. But, i think President Bush has made some poor decisions.

Nikki: (smiling, admiring, adoring this 10-year old) You know what Nick? You are one smart kid. President Bush has indeed made some poor decisions.

Nick: Yeah. (nodding like a wise old man)

:-P

2004-07-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

A little old lady answered the door wrapped in a towel and a shower cap.

Nikki: gosh, i'm sorry to have disturbed you! I can come back when you are dressed.

Little old lady: no hon, what do you need?

Nikki: Well, i'm with the Democratic National Committee and we're working very hard to defeat Bush in November.

Little old lady: (frowns and starts to shake the door) Oh, well i don't want to talk to anyone like you! PPPLBBTH!!!!!

Nikki: oh my!

Little old lady: (slams door)

She really PPPLBBTH'ed me! I couldn't stop laughing...that poor old woman, so angry, so half naked!