beer vs. votes..hmm, can I think about it?
Two very large, mid-20s guys answer the door together.
Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the DNC for John Kerry. You guys voting for John in November?
First Dude: Yeah, Kerry has my vote.
Second Dude: Me too. And i'm already registered.
Nikki:Great. Most Californians are registered AND voting for Kerry. But, we have a lot of work to do in the swing states.
First Dude: (haughy tone) California isn't a swing state.
Nikki: (really, it isn't? Are you sure? shit. I've been working for the wrong state this whole time? don't say it nikki just smile.) (smirk) You are right, California is not a swing state. That's why we're not focusing a lot of our voter registration energy here. It's also why you don't see any of the political ads on television. California is going democratic. So instead of spending money out here we're sending most of our resources out to Pennsylvania, Iowa and Ohio.
Second Dude: Ohio is a swing state.
Nikki: (hard swallow) Right! So, I'm here tonight...
First Dude: Florida is swing state right?
Nikki: yes. (pause) There are hundreds of people from across america going into these key swing states to help local offices register as many people as possible before their deadline. and in some states the deadline is in three weeks.
Second Dude:That's it right?
Nikki: I'm sorry?
Second Dude: Swing states. Those are all the swing states? Pennsylvania, Iowa, Ohio
First Dude: and Florida.
Nikki: (OH MY GOD) No, there are like 9. (oops just caught my right index finger massaging my right temple--calm down) But, those that i mention are key to our campaign. It's important that we support those folks out there. And that's why i'm here. We're asking for contributions tonight of $100.
First Dude:oh, well, i don't have any money to give.
Second Dude: yeah, me either. plus the A's are playing and i'd like to get back to it.
Nikki:Ah, baseball fans. Well you are probably drinking a six pack watching the game right?
Second Dude: yeah, more like two.
Nikki: (that explains the rediculous who's-on-first-in-the-swing-state episode we just had) okay, well how much did those cost? $8 each?
First Dude: yeah, something like that.
Nikki:Well, instead of buying beer, buy some votes. Help get people in swing states registered so that they vote in November. And we get rid of Bush.
Second Dude: beer vs. votes? Can I think about it?
Nikki:No! (laughing from the mere absurdity of it all) you can't think about it. You want bush out of office right? You don't want to be drafted because the military is too thin to fight all the terrorists Bush hopes to conquer in the next four years. Hmmm. beer or votes for kerry. (doing the scale thing with my hands) You know what you need to do.
Second Dude: Alright, 20 bucks each. I don't think i'll get drafted. But i like your spunk.
First Dude: dude, can you spot me $20?