Sunday, November 14, 2004

fuck

we tried. we tried to find a candidate that could reach out to moderate republicans while staying true to our modern values. My republican dad said it best, "the democratic party is too liberal for middle america". well you know what your right. So, WHY do we give a fuck about some dumbass in rural Nevada, who doesn't even like us or want our help? jesus, we're like the cheerleader aching for every last person in the stand to yell with her, "Push em back Push em Back WAAYY Back"

after the dust settled we finally found our message. it's late, but thank god we found it. Please read this entire article. it's long, but what we have to say can't fit onto a bumper sticker.

THE URBAN ARCHIPELAGO
It's time to state something that we've felt for a long time but have been too polite to say out loud: Liberals, progressives, and Democrats do not live in a country that stretches from the Atlantic to the Pacific, from Canada to Mexico. We live on a chain of islands. We are citizens of the Urban Archipelago, the United Cities of America. We live on islands of sanity, liberalism, and compassion--New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, St. Louis, Minneapolis, San Francisco, and on and on. And we live on islands in red states too--a fact obscured by that state-by-state map. Denver and Boulder are our islands in Colorado; Austin is our island in Texas; Las Vegas is our island in Nevada; Miami and Fort Lauderdale are our islands in Florida. Citizens of the Urban Archipelago reject heartland "values" like xenophobia, sexism, racism, and homophobia, as well as the more intolerant strains of Christianity that have taken root in this country. And we are the real Americans. They--rural, red-state voters, the denizens of the exurbs--are not real Americans. They are rubes, fools, and hate-mongers.

read more here: (read it!!) http://www.portlandmercury.com/current/feature.html

Friday, September 24, 2004

Republicans want Bush out too!

It's 15 minutes until quitting time and pitch black outside. i have $200 in a very rich neighborhood, so i should have more than $200 at this point. Where is the rich democrat?? There is always one in every republican neighborhood. I'll try one more mansion.

Nikki: (whispering) oh i see you're on the phone, i'll...
Jaime: (motioning with his hands to "stay put")
Nikki: (well at least he didn't wave me away)
Jaime: So, what can i do for you Kerry fan? (looking at the Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker on my clipboard)
Nikki: (yes! i knew there was one out there!) Well, i'm Nikki with the DNC and we're working very hard to put Kerry in the white house.
Jaime: Come in come in. Have a seat, i'll be right back.

He goes off into the kitchen where his wife asks him, "Who is here?" "The Democrats for John Kerry", he laughs. "I can't believe it!" she exclaims. "i know I know. I've gone nuts", he says laughing as he comes into the room carrying a bowl of fruit. This isn't going to be good. I'm thinking now, this is going to go poorly and i'm out of time tonight. This will be my last house. Great. Some republican asked me in to poke fun of me and entertain himself? I don't think so! We sit down.

Jaime: Well, i have to tell you. I'm a republican who is fed up with Bush. So it looks like John Kerry is my man. And i'll sit here and talk with you but i'm not giving you money.
Nikki: (yes you are!! BIG grin running through my veins right now) Oh, well that's too bad because that exactly why i'm here. But let me tell you why.

We talk for a few minutes about the swing states and how important they are to the campaign and how Bush can't get his act together and that he keeps saying really stupid things and how James Carville just sent out an email asking to support the DNC and that he was considering giving a contribution but would only do it by mail.

Nikki:But grassroots work is the most effective campaign tool right now. Some people just need a knock on the door and a registration form stuck in front of them to get involved. We also talk to people who are not on an email list or mailing list because they haven't voted for a long time, if ever. your contribution not only helps register voters in the swing states, but shows support for our work on the ground. i know it's not a fancy party and clinton won't come by to thank you for it, but I will. And the thousands of us walking 5 hours a day to find other contributors thank you for it.
Jaime: jesus. (he's squirming in his chair) I can't believe i'm going to give money to the Democratic Party.
Nikki: Hey, you are changing your vote. You might as well just dive on in there! Let's work together to get Bush out of office.
Jaime:How much do you need?
Nikki: Well the DNC can take up to $25,000. Since this is your first contribution, feel free to go up as high as you want to that limit. (serious smile)
Jaime: HA! how much do you really need.
Nikki:Honestly, about $5,000. (don't laugh. stay focused.)
Jaime:Here's $500. Do you have the registration form too?
Nikki: (yay! $500 from a Republican) I can't fundraise and register at the same time, but you can register online at www.yourvotematters.org
Jaime You are good you know?
Nikki: I want to be proud of this country again. So, it's not about being a good fundraiser. It's more about speaking from the heart. But you! I know it takes guts to change your mind in politics. Thank you.






Thursday, September 23, 2004

beer vs. votes..hmm, can I think about it?

Two very large, mid-20s guys answer the door together.

Nikki: Hi, I'm nikki with the DNC for John Kerry. You guys voting for John in November?
First Dude: Yeah, Kerry has my vote.
Second Dude: Me too. And i'm already registered.
Nikki:Great. Most Californians are registered AND voting for Kerry. But, we have a lot of work to do in the swing states.
First Dude: (haughy tone) California isn't a swing state.
Nikki: (really, it isn't? Are you sure? shit. I've been working for the wrong state this whole time? don't say it nikki just smile.) (smirk) You are right, California is not a swing state. That's why we're not focusing a lot of our voter registration energy here. It's also why you don't see any of the political ads on television. California is going democratic. So instead of spending money out here we're sending most of our resources out to Pennsylvania, Iowa and Ohio.
Second Dude: Ohio is a swing state.
Nikki: (hard swallow) Right! So, I'm here tonight...
First Dude: Florida is swing state right?
Nikki: yes. (pause) There are hundreds of people from across america going into these key swing states to help local offices register as many people as possible before their deadline. and in some states the deadline is in three weeks.
Second Dude:That's it right?
Nikki: I'm sorry?
Second Dude: Swing states. Those are all the swing states? Pennsylvania, Iowa, Ohio
First Dude: and Florida.
Nikki: (OH MY GOD) No, there are like 9. (oops just caught my right index finger massaging my right temple--calm down) But, those that i mention are key to our campaign. It's important that we support those folks out there. And that's why i'm here. We're asking for contributions tonight of $100.
First Dude:oh, well, i don't have any money to give.
Second Dude: yeah, me either. plus the A's are playing and i'd like to get back to it.
Nikki:Ah, baseball fans. Well you are probably drinking a six pack watching the game right?
Second Dude: yeah, more like two.
Nikki: (that explains the rediculous who's-on-first-in-the-swing-state episode we just had) okay, well how much did those cost? $8 each?
First Dude: yeah, something like that.
Nikki:Well, instead of buying beer, buy some votes. Help get people in swing states registered so that they vote in November. And we get rid of Bush.
Second Dude: beer vs. votes? Can I think about it?
Nikki:No! (laughing from the mere absurdity of it all) you can't think about it. You want bush out of office right? You don't want to be drafted because the military is too thin to fight all the terrorists Bush hopes to conquer in the next four years. Hmmm. beer or votes for kerry. (doing the scale thing with my hands) You know what you need to do.
Second Dude: Alright, 20 bucks each. I don't think i'll get drafted. But i like your spunk.
First Dude: dude, can you spot me $20?

Thursday, September 16, 2004

who's the clown?

I passed an old woman on the street today after work. She was having a little trouble getting out of her handicap parking space, so i offered to help with her door. I forgot I had my DNC badge on.

Old lady: why thank you.
Nikki: no problem. glad to help.
Old lady: (peering down at my right shoulder blade trying to read the badge attached to my shirt) oh! you work for the democrats?
Nikki: yes. I'm working hard to get Kerry in the white house come november. who are you voting for?
Old lady: (she stood straight up, tightened her lips, and almost screamed) I don't like Kerry at all!
Nikki: oh, okay. (backing away, i just got off of work--who wants this right now? not me!)
Old lady: I would never vote for a clown! (she yells on her way into the grocery store)
Nikki: Then why are you voting for Bush?
Old lady: (pushing the cart into the store she turns arounds and totally gives me the "evil eye")

It's really best just to walk away and laugh. poor old mean lady. she must not have access to all the meds she needs because her healthcare costs have increased 15% in the last year or something.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

you old poop

Richard: look, we've given already. I'm 85 years old and on a budget. I think it's great that you are doing this but i'm not going to give you money tonight.
Nikki: oh, you know normally i wouldn't push it, but we are down to just 7 weeks until the election. Grassroots is the last leg of the race--we're the guys who have to talk to as many people as possible, get them registered and to the polls. At this point, it's really not about fancy dinners, or ads, or email. It's about knocking on doors and mobilizing voters. And this is hard work to do without support. Please sir, if you could give $50...
Female voice from the livingroom: For god's sakes Richard give her money!
Richard: (turns around from the door) what?
Female voice from the livingroom: She's a young woman going door to door for the Kerry Campaign, you old poop! Give her some money.
Nikki: (I guess it's handy that i look 25 instead of 34) It really is going to...
Richard:The woman has spoken. (he says in a deep voice and turns around to grab his wallet) I should write you a check.
Female voice from the livingroom: just give her cash from your wallet.
Richard: (whispers tighly through the corner of his mouth) But i just went to the ATM.
Female voice from the livingroom: Richard...
Richard:(he takes out a stack of 20s and hands it to me with a smile.) Here you go, (wink) thanks for fighting the good fight.
Nikki: Thank you.
Richard: oh no, you should thank my wife.

Monday, September 13, 2004

what?

Jane: oh i'm not voting for him. (points to the Kerry bumper sticker on the back of my clipboard)
Nikki: oh?
Jane: he looks too much like mr. magoo.
Nikki: (what?) as opposed to a red horned devil?
Jane: ha! yeah actually. (door slam)

okay, yes it's rediculous that she's basing her whole decision on how kerry *looks*. But more importantly, Kerry looks *nothing* like Mr. Magoo. Mr. Magoo was like 4 feet tall, bald, and wore glasses, really big glasses! augh. I mean at least get it right. If anything Kerry looks like Jay Leno.

Friday, September 10, 2004

I love Mill Valley

Mill Valley, California is my favorite city in the whole bay area. They are rich, tree hugging liberals with advanced degrees who are fiscally conservative yet understand the important costs of The Long Now. They live in redwood tree houses, read more than they watch tv, and sure they might have two cars, but at least one is a hybrid. Plus they are only 20 minutes from San Francisco--augh, the life.

I spoke to 21 people and received 11 contributions for a total of $503! What a night. Every other person i talked to gave me money for the cause. I was cheered by speeding cyclists, "You're doing great work!" I was offered a glass of wine from a women's book club discussing "Life of Pi". And a Mercedes full of grandmothers yelled out from their windows, "You go girl!" (that last part had me laughing for hours) I love Mill Valley.